Pregnancy Update

I have already updated most of you through texts or Facebook, as I am not ready to talk out loud about it yet, but for the rest of you, I thought I should post this.

Had my first prenatal appointment this morning.  I was very anxious about this appointment because it was with a new doctor, I was going by myself, and of course I couldn't wait to hear the heartbeat! 

Had a wonderful experience with the doctor, nurse and staff.  Everyone was very friendly and professional.  We did the exam and I asked if I could hear the heartbeat since I was 11 weeks.  The doctor said she would try but sometimes at this stage the baby is still so small and well hidden in the pelvis that it is difficult to get a reading.  At twelve weeks we shouldn't have any issues hearing it.  So she checked, and checked and checked and couldn't get the heartbeat.  She did not seem worried.  Just said she'd send me over to get an ultrasound for peace of mind and they would do the baby's measurements and make sure the due date was right on and all of that. 

It was an internal ultrasound.  The technician found the baby right away, but I could tell by the look on her face something wasn't right.  She said there was no heartbeat.  She tried and tried to pick up the heartbeat, but there wasn't one and there was no movement from the baby.  The baby also measured about four weeks behind - measuring in at 7 weeks 2 days instead of 11 weeks.

The doctor said that normally when this happens, the baby's growth slows/stops prior to the heart stopping, so it is very hard to tell when the baby actually passed.  I am not bleeding, which also makes this so hard to believe.  I have had a miscarriage one other time - about 5.5 years ago.  With that baby, I started bleeding and then cramping and that is how I knew I was miscarrying.  This one caught me completely by surprise.  It is true that my symptoms during this pregnancy have been more mild, but I have still had symptoms.  I was told that the bleeding typically starts about a week after the baby's heart stops.  We have decided to give it a week and see if I expell the remains on my own.  I go back to the doctor for a follow-up on Monday, and if need be, we will schedule an appointment for a D&C at that time.  That scares me, so I am hoping that things start working naturally on their own.

It has been a long day and Andy and I are both in denial/shock over the whole thing.