Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Gratituesday has been hosted by one of my favorite blogs, Heavenly Homemakers, for as long as I have been reading her blog, which seems like forever.  I love reading once a week the things that she is grateful for.  I have often thought of joining in, but as you see, I haven't up until now. 

It was about a month ago that extreme exhaustion set in and I kept saying, "I guess the pregnancy symptoms are finally here."  Then, three weeks ago yesterday, I found out that the baby I was carrying had no heartbeat.  I allowed my body the next two and a half weeks time to pass the fetus, which never happened, so this past Friday, I had surgery to remove it.  During the two and a half weeks from finding out until sugery, I cried many tears, felt depression, had to force myself out of bed everyday and I couldn't wait until it was naptime for the girls so I could crawl right back in bed myself.  Though physically, I was zapped, mentally, I knew that I had to keep positive.  Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage of our precious baby and I dwelled heavily on the why's, what if's, how come's and it drove both myself and Andy insane!  So this time, I chose to focus on the blessings in my life.

I am thankful for the love, support and encouragement that came in during this difficult time.  It is always an awkward conversation when you let someone know that you've miscarried, but I am so thankful that there were no unintentional, unkind words spoken to me in the past three weeks.  Instead, I had an overwhelming outpour of encouragement and sincere sympathing and concern from friends, family, long-lost friends, and fellow mommy bloggers.  The love came in so many forms: visits, emails, phone calls, daily texts, blog comments, Facebook comments/messages, etc.  It has meant so much to me and helped me during this time.

I am so thankful for my sweet little girls.  They always know how to make me smile.  They love me whether I am playing with them or simply laying on the couch with them.  The second of which happened more times than I can count over the past three weeks.

I am thankful for my doctor, who listened to me and allowed me to choose what I felt was right for myself.  She never pushed me, but supported each of my decisions.

I am thankful for the ability to travel.  I found it most helpful for my mental sanity to be surrounded by my friends and family.  Over the past three weeks, my sister and her boys traveled from Florida to spend half of the week with me.  The girls and I traveled an hour away to to spend the day with a friend.  We were able, as a family, to travel to Florida to spend the weekend with family and I was able to catch up with a great friend and also to attend a Mom's Night In with some great friends that I had not seen in seven months.  Andy's family was able to travel four and a half hours each way one weekend to spend the night with us.  We were able to drive an hour and a half to meet up with family for lunch one Sunday.  A friend traveled an hour to stay with my girls so I wouldn't have to take them to my doctor's appointment with me.  Andy's sister and brother-in-law were here overnight after my surgery.  We were able to travel to Florida to an awesome family reunion.  I am so thankful that I was not alone during this time.

I am thankful for my patient husband.  Because I had no energy and I had to force myself out of bed, most of my housework was put on hold, only doing what was absolutely necessary.  I can't even remember making a dinner for my family during this time.  I must have, but it was infrequent, which means we ate out A LOT.  Not even one time did Andrew complain.  I know he must have thought that it was time to "snap out of it" but he always spoke kindly to me.

I am also thankful that I did finally choose to have surgery.  Almost immediately, I felt mental clarity and my energy returned.  Though I am still taking it easy, I do not feel the need or even the want to be in bed all day long.

Thank you to everyone that has stood by our sides and given us comfort, support, love and encouragement during this battle.  It has been appreciated so much and been crucial for my mental health.


shopannies said...

it is often at our lowest that we see the love that is all around us. God bless and I hope you are feeling better

MommyWise said...

How hard I know it must have been. You are reminding me to be thankful so I thank you for that.

Melissa said...

(((HUGS))) I mailed your package today! I hope the girls like their goodies :) It was late, and my brain was not working when I was packing things, so I forgot to include a note, but you'll know it's from O, E, and I :)